Pretty much one of the most challenging of my life.
My oldest Son is giving me a run for my money lately.
Each morning is a battle to get to school. Tuesday morning was the worst. screaming at home, in the car, in the school parking lot. Then like a switch he got excited to go by thinking about building a robot after school with Jon. It was Exhausting and Embarrassing. and I cried.
So the following days, Instead of yelling, I tried to come up with some funny game to get him excited to be going. Yesterday, It was being a Ninja. We snuck around the house as quickly and quietly as we could. getting dressed, having breakfast, brushing teeth in the dark, pressed up against the wall was kinda fun...but still I'M EXHAUSTED. It seems like I have to be silly to get my kids to do ANYTHING! They don't listen if I just ask. They don't listen if I YELL...and
"I DON"T GET NO RESPECT"
So after I dropped Ninja off at school, I cried in the parking lot and I drove to the library. I wanted to check out all the books filled with every piece of advice I need to help structure my family and pump me up to be the parent I have always imagined myself being. its that easy, right!?
NO, the Library was still CLOSED for another 20 minutes.
so, I had my make-up bag in the car and I decided to do my makeup while waiting.
Then this happened. my eye-lash curler broke and ripped out half of my lashes.
So I cried some more. IT HURT. my eye and my pride. pretty much FAILING all across the board. I went home without my getting books, and now I'm asking you dear friends for my needed advice?
What do you do to get your kids to listen?
What practices help your household run better?
How do you not get down on yourself when things seem to be falling apart?
I can't believe how these struggles the past few weeks have made me feel like such a failure. I keep asking What Do I need to change? How can I be Better?
Jon says I say that often, "I need to be better at this, and better with that." I've never noticed it until now. but I really Do. Is it bad to know your weaknesses? and to think about them?
I struggle at being organized and structured. I struggle with a lot of things.
I try to think about my strengths as well. {I'm pretty awesome in the Ninja department.} but It doesn't make me feel like I'm helping my children grow into responsible and hard working citizens of Earth. Everyday I become more and more aware that that is my job. It freaks me out.
My babies are transitioning from babies to real kids. and Im so nervous Im screwing them up.
I've said a lot of prayers the last few weeks. and I know I will be saying many many more.
Last week I shared a little song about being a mom at Christmas time.
There is so much Joy to be felt at Christmas. and I hope my kids feel it, and not just stress from Mom making them go to school and do chores, and other lame things they don't want to do...ITS ONLY THE BEGINNING KIDDIES!!
I hope they know how much I want to give them.
and How much they have given me.
I love being a mom more than anything. but lately, I especially love bedtime.
Your smile song helps me lots! Just remember to smile cause they are only small for a little while! Love it. One day at a time. No one is perfect, and sometimes mommy breaks are good for kids too!
ReplyDeleteI love your song! You are teaching them to love creativity and that is a great gift! Breathe, breathe, breathe . . . and holy cow, your eyelashes will grow back, but owwww!
ReplyDeleteBeing confident as a Mommy is the hardest part of being a Mommy. At least I think so. I hate the guilt and the worry, but I suppose it's all part of the deal. I try to look back on what I remember of my childhood when I'm feeling worried. Even though I can't compare to my Mom, I realize I don't remember tons of particulars. I remember feeling safe and loved. I knew my parents were on my side. I knew they loved being with me and that they were my biggest fans. I figure I can do that much. I love your blog. And you. Good luck with your beautiful kiddos and your eyelashes.
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